Monday, August 31, 2009

Fire - Kasabian.

See, youve influenced me to fall in love with your favourites. I am now on my way untuk khatam dengar to all your favourites & make them my favourites too. Weird oo, now i listen to The Cure, Oasis, Kasabian & yang paling weird i dengar Bjork. Their songs conquer my music library already. -.- It has been a while, dont tell me itll takes 6 months too this time? Im not that strong, my dear. I miss you, have fun in Jakarta & dont forget to eat Batagor for me. Oh shitto, i miss Indonesia so much! Mama, jom Indonesia lagi? & lets go to the places we have never been pulak.



Ye, saya rindu Jakarta & Bandung. So what gitu deh? Sekian. *ayat cover nak tutup kerinduan terhadap seorang kaum Adam. At least give credits to me lah, saya sekurang kurangnya mencuba. T_T*

Dah la, diam je semua. Yang penting i rindu Nik Syafiq, Saiful, Iylia, Azie sangat sangat. & i rindu Arin, cousin i tu. & i rindu my only grandmother, Mok too. Bila nak raya? Alamak, raya ni kena balik Johor after so long. Sangat tak suka okay! :'( Nak raya dekat Terengganu please? Tak pun Subang je. No need to travel. Ceh. Apa apa pun, i love you ayam goreng spicy McD. *ok ni betul tiba tiba*



Oh terlupaaaaaaaaaa!

Happy 52nd, Malaysia. I love you & your inti inti di dalamnya.
*maknanya orang orang, apa semua sekali dekat Malaysia la. -.-*

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Goyang Duyu - Project Pop.

Row row row your boat,
Gently down the stream,
Merrily merrily merrily merrily,
Life is but a dream.



I now promise to myself :-


Ill try to be more closed to Allah, lakukan yang wajib perbanyakkan yang sunat.
Ill move on from the past, let the present & the future take over my life.
Be more friendly to others, tingkatkan koleksi rakan rakan & contacts in phone list.
Banyakkan shopping raya so ill be one of the Mohsens pretty daughters. -.-
In order to let time flies fast, kerja dekat Aunty Norain's Nasi Lemak Antarabangsa Bangsar as a part timer.
Ill let myself think freely, no pressure.
I dont want to see any teardrops anymore, i have to grow up!
Take the positives to be more motivated & negatives to open up the eyes.
Tunaikan janji dekat Abah that ill be working extra hard in Segi & try to get 3.5 every sem & maybe i can convince the dad to send me to UK, US or Australia maybe for degree, who knows. :)
Spend more time with family & less time with friends so that i can remember the family is the one whos going to be there anytime, anyhow for me.
Lastly, i want to promise myself that ill let myself be happy & no more down mode in me & change to a better person.
I AM LEARNING TO LOVE MYSELF MORE, people.


P/S : Thanks to the anonymous, i love you! Youve opened my eyes. :')

The Other Side - Fey.

I believe everything happens for a reason. People change so you can learn to let go. *He has changed a lot, he hurt me so deep, so explain to me, why until now, i just cant let go of him, of our memories together?* Things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when theyre right. You believe lies so that you will eventually learn to trust no one but yourself. & sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. - Something yang i selalu baca, dengar.


I miss how things went. I miss how our bond was. I miss March - June 2009 most. I miss my friends, colleagues, college mates, school mates. I miss everybody. I miss everything. I miss you, thats the most important thing. Tell me, how can i learn to let go? When can i let go of the past? I am tired, of the current me. I deserve some happiness. I deserve something. Hmm :'(

Friday, August 28, 2009

O Re Piya - Rahat Fateh Ali Khan.

I feel like i miss you, A. But .... maybe i just miss your company, which used to make me forget about S.


Dah la Sofia, move on. Ingat dekat Chuck Bass you tu, hes waiting for you!
-_____-

Thinking Of You - Katy Perry.

Hello. Im glad finally, ive let it all out. It wasnt easy, but at least i tak simpan dalam lama sangat. I hope hes doing okay. It was a really panas punya talk. I even menitiskan air mata jugak. I dont know whats with me, but hes too good to be true dah. He understands me, he cares for me. I tak tahu apa lagi yang i nak. He said "I tak tahu apa you nak, you macam tak ada pendirian you tahu tak?" Man, that hurts, a lot. Tapi i tahu apa yang i nak. I need to be alone. I cant be with you, itu sahaja. Its not about you, ni semua sebab i. Im sorry, tapi at least i tak biarkan you tertunggu tunggu berbulan bulan. I tahu macam mana sakitnya nak terima semua ni, i pernah lalui. Sampai sekarang pun i tak move on. Tapi just remember, theres someone out there for you. Better than me, who knows. Allah dah tentukan semuanya. Kalau betul jodoh i dengan you, i lari jauh mana pun, ill still be with you. Thanks for the "Ill always wait for you, forever" Tapi, dont keep your hopes too high. Whatever it is, i appreciate the love, everything. :')

I did that because i dont want you to feel what i feel now. I dont want to keep on layan-ing you, where as i tahu we are impossible. I tak nak jadi macam S, tak nak buat apa yang dia dah buat dekat i. I tahu i wont feel anything towards you. Everytime i on the phone dengan you, kepala i melayang. Everytime i buat apa apa, i bukan ingat you, tapi ingat dia. I tak nak rasa macam ni sampai bila bila. I tak nak makin sakitkan hati you. Sumpah, semua ni tak ada kene mengena dengan you, A. Semua ni pasal i, i am the one to be blamed. Im so sorry. Dont worry, i dengan dia memang takkan jadi apa apa dah. Hes living a great life already now. & im happy for him, dont get me wrong. Tapi perasaan i dekat dia, will never fade away. & i dah cuba, selitkan you jugak dalam hati i. Tapi it seemed so hard. Im sorry.

Percaya sahaja kepada jodoh. If not with me, you will be with somebody one day. Somebody yang lagi hebat dari i. Somebody yang you lagi sanggup buat apa sahaja untuk dia. Prove to me, youre better than this. Youre strong, youre a man. You said yourself, "Gentle la, benda ni selalu jadi. Kalau lelaki tak boleh nak terima benda semua ni, gila ah. I lelaki kot, i okay je". Yes, i tahu you boleh happy kan diri you. Even without me, you boleh hidup. Cukup lah rasa perit i rasa selama ni. Jangan tambahkan lagi rasa bersalah dekat i. Youre a great guy, youll find a great girl one day. Okay A? Ill pray for you & i do want us to be friends. Im sorry, again.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Ku Tak Sanggup - Kris Dayanti.

Malam ini aku sendiri,
Tanpa dirimu memeluk aku kasih,
Kau di mana,
Aku ingin bertemu,
Ungkapkan semua rasa rinduku,
Haruskah aku berlari,
Haruskah aku menangis lagi,
Ku tak sanggup bila aku jauh dari cintamu,
Hanya Tuhan yang tahu segalanya,
Rasa rindu yang aku punya,
Padamu,
Hanya untukmu.



NOTA KAKI UNTUK INSAN YANG PERNAH & AKAN SELALU DISAYANGI : It has been 33 days living life without you, officially. Since 25th July 2009. Can you imagine going from hero to zero? *ok ini tetiba sebenarnya* Can you imagine how hard it was for me, from being everyday with you to a total zero connection with you. Okay, maybe not totally zero. But you know what i mean. Everybody was questioning me where have you been, how youve been doing. Can you imagine how hard it was for me to deal with the world? Can you at least imagine? I bet it is easy for you, nobody is asking about me to you, you dont have to deal with this kind of feeling like im having now. You didnt know how hard it was for me. How hard it is still, for me. Daripada orang couple, dah break, couple balik, i tak move on move on lagi. Daripada orang bertunang, dah kahwin pun i tak move on move on lagi. Daripada orang gembira, sedih, gembira, sedih, gembira balik pun i tak move on lagi. I thought its going to be easy, as easy as 1 2 3. But its not. It is not. Dont judge me. I tak nak tunjuk dekat you, dekat semua orang yang i lemah pun. But .... i tak lah sekuat yang disangka. Badan je besar, tapi, i tak kuat untuk berpura pura. Untuk konon tunjuk i okay depan semua orang. Susah, you tahu tak susah? I rindu you, i rindu time kita selalu super saver dulu, sampai 4 5 pagi. I rindu time kita keluar sama sama, bergurau senda. I miss you, so much. How i wish dunia ni macam filem yang ditonton dekat DVD player. Rasa nak forward, tak nak tengok part sedih, boleh. Rasa nak rewind, happy kan diri sendiri, tengok balik all those sweet moments, boleh. Tapi tu semua dunia tipu. You have to face it, youre living a real world here. Tabahkan je diri tu. I know ill live, i know ill be able to survive. Sooner or later. :'(

Best Friend - Kiroro.



Im sorry for myself, enough said.
I hate you, Sofia.
Youre one stupid moron!
Theres only two words for you Sofia - MOVE ON!

I Go - Aizat.

Sorry, i cant pretend anymore.
Sorry, i cant lie to myself.
Sorry, i cant force myself.
Sorry, i dont like you.
Sorry, i just realised all of those feelings.
Sorry, i cant fool everybody especially me & you.
Sorry, i think id rather be alone.
Sorry, i just have to leave you.
Sorry, i wont be moving on from the past forever.
Sorry, id like to live my life as an anti social person.
Sorry, im focusing on studies & family & friends.
Sorry, i wont be searching for you anymore.
Sorry, i used you.
Sorry, im praying that youll get a better girl one day.
Sorry, i just cant be with you.
Sorry, i have no more strength.
Sorry, id love to be with myself only at the moment.
Sorry, i dont like the way you treat me as im still a nobody to you.
Sorry, ive loved him with all my heart & ive given him my heart which he didnt give it back to me.
Sorry, if we are meant to be together then we will be one day anyhow.
Sorry, i just cant let nobody else to heal my heart except for him.
Sorry, im such a moron.
Sorry, i have to do what i think i have to do.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Thank you anyhow, for being so caring to me.
Youre the best but i just cant be with you.
I cant force myself anymore.
I just want him & nobody else.
Sorry, Abang Kedah & sorry Sofia Farhana.
Sorry too, Yellow Man.
I dont know myself anymore, i want to be alone.



P/S : Rebound guy, didnt work out. Any other options? I seriously have to move on. Haih.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Declare Independence - Bjork.

Youve made plans for the future.
Youre buying me stuffs.
Youre doing me good deeds.
Youre making me nervous & afraid.

Im afraid the same old thing is going to happen again, but this time around its vice versa.
Im afraid i might be hurting you.
I know im using you, to let go of the past.
I dont want to trust you.
I dont want to rely on you.
But im getting to.
Thats why im afraid.

I want to hold back everything.
I dont want to repeat the same mistakes all over again.
Enough of getting fooled 3 times throughout my life.
Enough is enough.

Im tired of being haunted by the same old memories.
Im tired of waiting for impossible calls.
When can i move on, tell me please.



P/S : Alie, mana peria i?! Been waiting for the peria kering for ages already! Syaf, date berbuka dengan i, one of these days as youve promised, mari cepat! I miss my school friends. Bila boleh buat gathering? I miss my YC clan too. I miss everybody! TAK SABAR NAK RAYA WOKKKK! Open houses. :)

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Solid Gold - Goodnight Electric.

Please dont put your hopes too high.
Im afraid i might be hurting you.
Please dont make it hard for me.
Youve been too nice.

Why do i have to be in this situation again?
Btw, ive started to miss you.
Isnt that a good sign? :)

Monday, August 24, 2009

Beautiful Surprise - India Arie.

"Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku, Kau berilah aku petunjukMu. Berikanlah aku kekuatan untuk meneruskan kehidupan. Jika S bukanlah untukku, tolong lah, hindarilah bayangannya dari kotak fikiranku. Buanglah perasaanku terhadap S. Berilah aku peluang untuk merasai kebahagiaan. Jika A yang terbaik untukku, Kau berilah peluang untuk A terus berada dalam hatiku. Berilah aku peluang untuk selitkan nama A di hati aku. Dan Ya Allah, jika Kau telah memberi peluang kepada A, jangan lah Kau jadikan aku orang yang zalim. Kau peliharalah aku, peliharalah aku dengan pilihanku. Jadi Ya Allah, bantulah aku. Aku benar benar inginkan petunjuk dariMu. Aku penat, penat menyimpan perasaan yang aku tahu tidak mungkin terbalas kembali semula. Bantulah aku Ya Allah. Kerana sekarang ini, aku benar benar tidak bisa melupakan S dan berhenti menyayanginya dan aku terhutang budi dan merasa bersalah terhadap A."

Amin

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Darling It Aint Easy - Zee Avi.

Chop, this picture has got nothing to do with what im going to say. :D


Hold on, sayang. Its not easy. But thank you, for wanting to be with me. What can i say is, just be patient. Stay with me, insyaAllah everything will be as what you wish, one day. If i meant to be with you, then i will. If not, anggap lah itu takdir. I tak boleh paksa diri i. Thank you, for understanding. :)

I Miss You - Aaliyah.

oh damn man, ni sumpah sedeh. letak gmba2 sume. i know i you feel. ive lost someone really important in my life for a week pon macam gila babi sial uswh dh nk mati! HAHAHA. i know its hard man!!! :'( sumpah kt teringt time kt! awk ni sebenarnya kuat wk. awk bandingkan lah diri awk n kt time tuh. awk atleast awk bole sembynyikan sume tuh. kt? terus xklua bilik sume. awk mmg kuat. kt tau. awk dekatkan diri ngn Allah jer wk. insyallah dier akan tolong awk ;) dont worry! i know you can move on. mungkin bukan skrg. tp nnti. skrg awk kene saba. saba saba sabaaaaa sgt! - Uswah commented on the post below -


Mungkin betul, i am strong. I can hide all my feelings. I can cover it up with my feelings towards Abang Kedah. I can still smile, i can still laugh, i can still pretend that its normal. Its only outside. Outside. What about the inside? Until when? Until when should i pretend? If dekat sini pun i kena pretend, i memang dah tak boleh hidup. Im not a robot. I have feelings. Im not strong enough. Im tired of pretending. Can i just go straight to you, menangis, meraung & begging you to come back to me? No i cant. & i shouldnt.

I penat untuk senyum, i penat untuk gelak sebab i tahu semua tu hanya lakonan semata mata. If only i could bring back all those memories, all those words from you. If only all these things wouldnt have happened. If only i knew my boundaries back then. If only i knew you & me will never be possible. If only ... If only. If only i am now with you, if only i could touch you, hug you, kiss you, listen to you. Tapi semua tu if only. & semua tu takkan menjadi pun.

I terfikir, apa yang i rasa, does it apply on you too? You rasa tak apa i rasa? Sebab you cakap baru baru ni, terlampau banyak kenangan, susah nak lupakan. Its easier for you, rasanya lah. You bayangkan i. Please bayangkan. Ive missed you a lot. & you takkan pernah boleh bayangkan apa i rasa. Tapi im trying my best to be strong, at least to be strong in front of you. & yes, i succeed. Sampai you boleh terfikir yang i tak nak kawan dengan you dah. Tapi tahu tak betapa susahnya i nak buat macam tu? TAHU TAK? :(



P/S : I LOVE YOU - Listen to that aaliyah's song. Seriously, it is equal to what im feeling. :')

Littlest Things - Lily Allen.

Remember when was this? This was the first time you put your arms around mine. Hazim & the rest tak percaya pun & they thought gambar ni dibuat. Hmm, last day working at YC.

One week after i became UiTM student. Weekend, friday night, we went to Genting. With Hazim & Nazrin. 4th July 2009 to be exact. Ill always treasure this time. :)

Me & Nazrin was having our off day at YC, we went there, i bought you guys doughnuts. & this time, Nazrin or was it Arlina yang cakap "Ha, susah la nak move on tu, cey suka la tu."

Ejat's birthday, Blanka's friend gave one whole cake. Secret Recipe tau. Free free je dapat cake Chocolate Indulgence. :)

Ni pulak, ingat? You cant move on from this picture yourself. Tak habis habis, "Rare doh gamba ni, kan sofia kan? Rare doh kita time ni. Suka la, letak ah dekat myspace." -.-

You guys can say im desperate. You guys can say im stupid. You guys can say im an idiot. You guys can say anything to me. But to me, once you dah rasa apa i rasa then only youll know. Its hard, i can assure you that. Because he was once my everything. Tertanya tanya ke, tak risau dia tahu pasal ni? Gila berani i letak gambar i dengan dia? Well, he already knows everything. & im sure he knows ill be blogging about him. & if i tak taruk gambar & nama, im sure he knows that im talking about him. & i know he knows that it is hard for me. I told a friend, i know ill never be able to erase all those memories, to forget him, until forever. Hes too good to be replaced, hes too good to be deleted. But dont worry, im learning. Doakan i. Please. Sebab i tak kuat, langsung. Dengan adanya Abang Kedah di sisi pun, tak terlalu membantu. Hmm. :'( *Sorry Abang Kedah, i cant lie to myself.*

Saturday, August 22, 2009

I Melt With You - Jason Mraz.

Where are you?

I miss you.

:(

Falling For You - Colbie Caillat.

I have found myself another guy.

That is what i want to say, badly! Tapi bila i rasa i ready nak cakap tu, i sedar, im not into that person so much. Or its the other way around? I know i know, we arent official yet. & ive told you, i dah tak senang nak percaya orang sebab dah terlampau banyak i lalui. I penat, i sakit. Tapi you jawab, "You ingat ramai orang nak i? I sama je dengan you. I tau youre the one for me." Agak agak la, mulut manis kan? Baru kenal. I want to get to know you first. Tapi belum sampai seminggu, i dah boleh bayangkan macam mana if kita betul dah couple. Dah la you jauh yang stock jauh gila. I akan selalu ditinggalkan ke? You takkan amik tahu pasal i? For the first few days ye la, call setiap minit setiap saat, text dari pagi sampai malam. Tapi ni baru je berapa hari, you dah buat perangai.

I told you i wanted to work memandangkan jadual i tak packed langsung! Tapi you cakap, "Tak payah la, duduk je rumah. Rest. Nanti you takde time untuk i, you asyik busy." Sekarang i terfikir, i kerja lagi bagus. Time you cari i sekarang, 2 3 message, lepas tu hilang. Then, malam pukul 1230 - 1 baru cari balik. Pergi mana tak cakap, buat apa tak cakap. Tapi text cakap, "JAP". Agak agak la. Jap tu kadang kadang sampai berjam jam, dari petang sampai malam. Bagitahu la nak pergi mana sayang. Tak la i tercari cari. Lepas tu kalau i bangkitkan isu ni, you emosi, you sedih.

Tapi siapa mulakan? Who started this? Takpe la, ill just go with the flow. Ill be monitoring this relationship. I pun bukan ada apa apa dengan you lagi. :)

Friday, August 21, 2009

Yeay yeay, puasa lepas tu rayaaaaaa!


I found that picture above from google. I thought it is something different, cool jugak. :)

So here id like to wish, Selamat Menyambut Bulan Ramadhan Al Mubarok 1430 Hijrah/2009 to all Muslims around the world. *eceh, macam la ramai baca blog ni. Hehehe* Alhamdulillah, once again kita dapat menunaikan ibadah puasa. I wish to change to a better person, to be blessed by Allah & to have many good things to come. InsyaAllah, one day i akan bertudung pulak kan? Who knows? Aminnnnnn kan aje. :) Oh by the way, kalau ada majlis berbuka tu jemput jemput la i dengan kawan kawan i dekat Subang ni. -.- Selamat berpuasa everybodyyyyyyyyy! :D

One second rule.

Mula mula memang bahagia. Manis betul kata kata. Tak sampai seminggu, macam macam perangai. Betul kata orang tua tua, benda nak jadi, kita takkan tahu. Dalam sesaat pun boleh bertukar. This is why im so afraid of trusting people. Ive been hurt a lot. Im tired of it. Please take note, once i dah rasa menyampah, insyaAllah perasaan tu will be permanent. :)

Thursday, August 20, 2009

You ROCKED my world.

I have no strength.
I am no more good at pretending.
I lost interest in acting.
I am getting weaker each day.
I am tired of myself.

I want & need you, whoever.

Full Stop

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Untitled.

I took a quiz at facebook - How easy is it to hurt you? And the result is ....

You cry for every reason. You are a weekling. You are extremely easy to hurt and cry about everything. It's a good thing to cry, but if you cry too much you're eyes will hurt. You should probably not cry so much, but dont hide your feelings either, just dont be so dramatic. It causes people to either feel sorry for you or create harsh thoughs about you. So, try to cry a little less and let out your feelings at the same time.

Its true maybe. But hey, dont get me wrong. Eventhough youve read every single thing that i wrote in my blogs, thats not really how i acted everyday. I try my best not to show people how weak i am. I laugh, i smile, like everybody else does. Its just that i tend to let it all out here, my sadness especially. Well, its not easy being me right now. Im begging you, dont judge me before knowing me, before knowing what am i feeling right now. :')

P/S : I love you & now only you could make me say those 3 words. Can i press rewind & play back all those beautiful memories? :'( Oh yes, i demam lepas i jumpa you. Please explain.

Time heals all wounds - please be fast!


YOU


ME / I


HIM


Im not okay, im sorry. Youve given me the biggest impact in life. Youve created such chaos in my life. Youve made my life so miserable. Youve taken all my love. Youve taken all, all from me. Youre making me & my life a mess. But still, i cant get over you, i cant forget you. Im sorry for myself, im sorry for him too. & im sorry for you. I dont want to use him. & i know i cant & i shouldnt use him, im feeling-less towards him. I think im trying too hard on him, i think i force myself on him. God, help me. Guide me. I dont want to use other people to get over someone i love too much. Its harder than i thought it could be. One day im okay, im almost there to forget you then another day i feel like i cant even live without you, i miss you too much. Its even harder when i think about you & her, when i think about him being too nice & too sweet. I need words, powerful words to motivate myself.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Makbul memberi memori terhebat untuk 2 tahun straight.

Hello loves! :D

Oh, anyways, ive registered my subjects for this semester, this morning dengan Uswah. Guess what? For part 1 *maksudnya, now until sebelum raya*, we all only have 2 classes per week. Monday morning & Thursday evening. Okay, sekarang boleh bayangkan apa i rasa? Best memang la best, tapi bosan juga woookkk! Macam mana nak move on? Nak kerja, Abey Kedah dok kasi. -.- Gedik punya Abey Kedah. Cehh. *Alamak, lupa, dia tak kasi panggil Abang Kedah. Orang KL katanya. -.- ALAAAAAAAAA, study kat UiTM Kedah, duduk pun Kedah, Abang Kedah je k? :D*


Oh yea, i have a story to tell wookkkk! Last night, S called. He called me around 11pm or so lah. He used the public phone yang dekat depan McD Taipan tu. Dia ajak lepak, then after msn-ing with Uswah and Zul, diorang pun cakap la, pegi je jumpa S tu. Show him youve moved on. *dalam hati, i dengan Allah je tau woookk! -.-* S suruh i turun USJ, i tak nak & i paksa dia amik i dekat rumah. Terima kasih kerana mengambil i di rumah ye? :) Oh, he picked me up at 1230am & we went to Makbul to have a chit chat. I rasa dia rindu i la, lepas jumpa dekat World Stage after nearly a month, terus rindu membuak buak ye? HAHAHA, ok tak, Sofia main main je S. :| Around 130 - 145am macam tu dia hantar i balik. On the way home, kitorang bercakap cakap la. & dah dekat nak sampai rumah i, dia macam cakap, gambar i dengan Arlina ke apa semua ada lagi dengan dia, dia nak i dengan dia kawan sampai bila bila. At that time, i was going to break into tears. Tapi i lawan, eventhough its hard, i know i have to. & finally, he said sorry for everything & dia mengaku dia salah. Dah lah, itu pun dah cukup memadai for me. & he explained why he acted like, sekejap ada sekejap tak ada. Maybe betul cakap Uswah, maybe its hard too to be in his place. I tak boleh salahkan dia 100%. Tapi jangan ingat apa S buat tu betul. Haih. Tak apa, insyaAllah Sofia boleh maafkan S. & im sorry too for everything. Kalau baca blog Sofia, terasa ke apa, im sorry. S pun faham kan? :) Goodluck in life k? & dont forget, 7 of us have a break fast date together. Lepak macam dulu dulu. Okay? Have fun in Jakarta. *see, kali ni tak silap, Jakarta, bukan Bandung. Hehehe* Dont forget to buy me souvenirs. -.-

Okay, kali ni i dah okay. Maybe i rindu dia, nak hug dia ke apa, but ive moved on. Hoping untuk selamanya lah. Nanti free free, S call la Sofia, kita lepak lepak. :) OH Abey Kedah, tolong jangan manja sangat? Gedik. -.- Jom, datang berbuka puasa dengan i dekat sini? *kening kening* Okay lah, enough for todays update. By the way, KPTM Bangi mengingatkan i dekat UiTM Melaka. Shit, i miss UiTM. Okay diam la Sofia. Sya, semoga berjaya survive di KPTM nanti. :p

Roger & Out.

P/S : Title tu hanya untuk i sahaja tahu maksudnya.

Monday, August 17, 2009

New chapter is beginning.

Hello loves. Finally, ive watched The Proposal. So, bottom line, IS IT THAT EASY FOR TWO HUMAN BEINGS TO FALL IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER? Well, it was a great movie. LOVE IT. :) And the hero, is so mine! -.- I love the part when the woman proposed, walaupun tak ikhlas and she didnt mean it, still, it makes me think, hey, i could do it too. I mean, the proposal part. :)


Oh, by the way, i finally have the answer for my question above. Ala yang is it that easy tu. :) Yes, it is easy to fall in love with someone. OH & thanks to my ABANG KEDAH yang ada band sendiri yang ada suara yang boleh buat orang jatuh cinta bila on the phone yang suka merajuk yang pasrah bila i marah dia, he made it easier for me to move on from the owner of the type of car below. Teman i lagi okay? Everyday? :)


Bye bye old memories & now i know, Allah memang sayang i. I miss talking to you already, ABANG KEDAH. :D Youve made my day.

P/S : Im starting college in 6 hours. Wish me luck! :)

Sunday, August 16, 2009

After 3 weeks of not seeing you.

Sayang,

I saw him just now, at World Stage. He looked hungry + marvellous as always. At first, i tau i takkan terserempak dengan dia. Ye la, dengan beribu ribu orang dekat dalam tu kan, so i konon konon nak diri sendiri move on, i told myself "okay, kalau jumpa dia maknanya ada jodoh, kalau tak, you just have to get over him, okay biatch!". Tiba tiba lepas i dah penat menggila dekat tengah tengah tu, i dengan Saiful haus gila & tak larat dah sebab kena tolak je kerja, i nak pergi beli air dengan Saiful. Then i saw someone yang i rasa i macam kenal. I was like, FUCK, it is him! I smiled, he looked normal. We tegur each other macam tu je, he asked me i dengan siapa, i tunjuk arah depan & i teruskan perjalanan i. I tak sanggup tengok dia lama lama. You tau tak betapa rindunya i dekat dia? I rasa bila i nampak dia tu, i nak peluk dia kuat kuat & say "Sofia rindu awak sangat, kenapa awak hilang, kenapa awak buat macam ni dekat Sofia? :'(" Tapi i tak berdaya, he was with his friends. Nasib girlfriend dia tak ada. I harap kawan dia tak perasan tu i, tu Sofia. Hmm. Im happy, at least after 3 weeks, i dapat tengok muka dia. Dah lama i terasa nak tengok muka dia. Thank You, Allah. At last, i can see him with my own eyes. Tapi, i sedih. Sedih sangat. Tapi takpe la, at least i know hes happy with his life. Ive missed you a lot, S. Oh by the way, World Stage was awesome. Credits to AAR most, you guys rock baby! I LOVE YOU, TYSON.

P/S : Thanks Saiful, for teman-ing me. & to everybody, we had fun kan? :) & to S, i hope youre happy with Kasabian. I know its your dream to see them perform live & it was my dream to go to World Stage because i know ill get to see you. Dulu, sekarang dah berubah.

I love you sayang,
Your love.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Ups and downs.

Dear Imaginary Boyfriend *the diary is my IB*,

I just finished reading entries from my old blog. The March - June entries. I was so happy at that time. I envy myself. I was so happy with my seven favourite people. Now, things has changed. Complete 360. I feel like killing myself so that i wouldnt have to think about all these things anymore. But i know, i tak cukup beramal & beriman dekat Allah lagi untuk tinggalkan dunia ni. Plus, the world is too beautiful for me to leave it behind this soon. Why people make promises & they dont bother to keep the promises? I hate everybody. I hate you guys. Im lonely & i need my friends. I guess they will be searching for me when they think they needed me the most, where they couldnt find the boyfriend/girlfriend or the loved ones at that time. Oh dunia, its modern time already i guess. Nobody seems to care what others think. I think i shouldnt too. So whatever guys, im tired of pleasing people already. :) Thank God i have you now, BABY! I love you & i know youll always going to be there for me whenever i need someone to talk to. XOXO.

Your love,
Me.

The fake smile is fading.

We cant be too happy because sadness will envy us one day.
&
Dont let sadness affect you too much because happiness will come to you eventually.

It is all just a matter of time.
Be patient Sofia, youll get something much much better.
Keep having faith in Allah, teruskan berdoa & beramal.
He loves you & thats why He is testing you.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Austin Chase.

13th August 2009 - Ive planned to go out with my bestfriend, Nazrin Abdul Wahid. Kitorang plan nak pergi KL. So after fetched her dekat Jalan Kelang Lama, we go straight to KL. Dengan perut yang lapar, kitorang dah start berhu-ha di dalam kereta dengan mata & fikiran yang meliar nak fikir pergi makan dekat mana. Dah sampai dekat dekat Kampung Baru tu, ingatkan nak makan nasik, tapi macam tiba tiba ternampak KFC but then its on the other side of the road. Tiba tiba terlintas nak makan Wendy's sebab dekat belakang Pavilion tu kan ada Wendy's kan? So i parked my car dekat Pavilion then kitorang keluar, jalan pergi Wendy's.

I ordered meal number 2 & Nazrin ordered meal number 6. Dah makan makan, comot gila, kenyang nak mampus *patut amik gambar time makan tu -.-*, around 130pm kitorang beredar ke Sungei Wang. Jalan jalan, kuruskan badan sekejap *HAHAHA harapan la beb!*, Nazrin pergi FOS cari baju, i tried dresses dekat sana. Lepas Nazrin dah beli baju dekat FOS tu, *oh, ada sorang abang FOS ni handsomeeeeeee & dia nampak i buat stupid dance lepas tu dia sengih lepas tu nak balik dia sengih dekat i then i senyum then i buat buat tak tau pape T_T* kitorang pun pergi LOT 10. I nak masuk sana sebab i rasa nak aircond je. PANAS LA, i kan duduk London dulu, bila dah dekat Malaysia ni rasa macam tak biasa la panas panas. *WTF Sofia, kau dulu Lendu je, bukan London*


Around 10 minutes dekat LOT 10, we moved our asses to Pavilion pula. I rasa nak terkuncil, lepas tu pergi la toilet. First toilet pergi, rosak. Then kitorang pergi toilet floor bawah. Pun sama, tapi yang jenis mencangkung tu okay, so i pun buang air kecil. -.- Lepas tu rasa dahaga, kitorang berganjak ke food court. Tengah jalan jalan tu, nampak Austin Chase punya kiosk. Time tu i dengan Nazrin tengah gelak gelak, tiba tiba abang dekat situ cam tanya Nazrin asal gelak, Nazrin cakap la i kirim salam. I tak dengar, dah lepas tu baru i tanya Nazrin abang tu tanya apa, lepas tu dia cerita la. *Ada sorang abang tu comel jugak. ANGKAT KENING* I beli peach tea, Nazrin iced lemon tea. Kitorang juga beli XXL chicken crispy. Dekat .... Oh whats the name of the kiosk again? Lupa la. Ni kiosk yang kitorang pergi first dengan Saufi & PG. :) Sambil sambil tu, kitorang imbau balik la kisah kisah dulu. *Cara cam lama dah kan? Padehal time time before semua start study, before semua move on :D*

After a while, we decided to go home. Butttttt, before that, kitorang stopped at Austin Chase dulu. I nak beli coffee, teringin & i sangat la dahaga. *I PERIOD, YAY YAY! Tak pernah rasa happy macam ni bila period. Asal happy? I dah dekat 3 bulan tak period, mesti la paranoid. -.-* Oh, sambil tunggu air siap, Caramel Frappe, kitorang pun berborak dengan abang abang Austin Chase. Tapi malangnya, i berharap abang comel tu cakap banyak. Ni abang lain. Tapi hes not that bad. HAHAHAHA T_T Dah dah, lepas tu i pun balik la. Sebelum balik, i cari Shell dulu, nak isi minyak. Takut kereta mati & sementara ada orang lain nak tolong isikan, baik kita manfaatkan dia. Hehehe, sorry Nazrin baby. Cehh.

Sepanjang perjalanan nak hantar Nazrin balik, kitorang imbau balik, try nak ingat balik all the sweet times dulu dulu. Time keluar dengan Saufi, PG, Ajim, Shafiq, i, Arlina, Nazrin. Rindu wooookkkkk! :'( Bestnya kalau dapat ulang balik kan? Tapi takpe, insyaAllah i dah move on. I cuma rindu je la, jangan la marah! *Okay, tak ada siapa cakap pape pun la gila* Oh & sepanjang perjalanan balik, i dengar lagu Flop Poppy, lagu CD tak move on yang Arlina & Nazrin panggil. Rindu makin bertambah dekat diorang. Sedihnyaaaa. Kan? :') I MISS YOU GUYS, so much.

Nota : Lupa nak cakap, i taruk sticker dekat handphone i. -.- Okay, tak perlu bagitau pun sebenarnya kan? Dah diam je, tengok je la apa yang i taruk, gambar bawah ni haa. Okay dah, bye!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Setelah sebulan berkabung, inilah hasilnya. :D

Hello peeps. -.- Okay, i guess i am too normal already now. So this is going to be my first post after a month of not blogging about my daily life, after a month saya berkabung. Sila bersyukur. :)


So today my dad actually asked me to go to his office to help out in the account department & stuffs tapi sebab i malas sangat, i decided not to go. Ye la, nanti kang i buat salah tu ni i yang kena tanggung. Lagi lagi i bukan dah start study accounts pun kan. So around 1130, i woke up and mandi semua, siap siap sebab i kena pergi office Abah jugak to take thermometer from my Abah's PA sebab nak kasi my sister. Dia demam. Then i ajak Sya pergi teman i dye my hair. Sebab i dah bosan dengan color rambut i & i kan nak jadi Sofia yang baru. :) So around 2pm, i pergi la amik Sya dekat rumah dia then we go straight to Summit untuk dye rambut i. Kitorang pergi Super&Style ke apa kejadah tah nama saloon tu. Murah je wokkkk, RM60. :D So here, i kasi sedikit gambaran time the making of changing my hair color tu.

*First gambar tak pakai specs, macam muka cina mana kan? -.- Second time tengah letak ubat rambut tu la. Then the last picture tu dah cuci, nak keringkan. :D*


After paying, around 330 - 4pm tu, i rasa lapar. Ajak Sya pergi makan, lepas tu dia rasa teringin nak makan ABC, biasa la, perempuan mengandung memang macam tu. HAHA. So kitorang pun terus ke Taipan pergi makan dekat Hassan. Sesampainya di Hassan, kitorang cari tempat bawah kipas sebab sungguh panas. Then i order la, TEH O BENG SO, NASI GORENG USA SO. Sya ordered ABC, ONLY! -.- Lepas makan tu kitorang pun pergi la jalan jalan kejap dekat Taipan. Pegi Little Black Book, Amour, macam macam la. ALAMAK, NAK BELI HANDBAG DEKAT LBB TU PLEASE? CANTIKKKKKKKKKK. :( Okay, moving on. Dah lepas tu, we went to McD to buy my mom's & sister's bubur & went to 100 Yen tu to buy snow ice milk. SLRRPPP.

*First picture was when we were on our way to Taipan. Gambar PEPSI tu pulak time kitorang tengah tunggu snow ice siap, kitorang tengok tin tu dekat kedai 100 Yen tu la.*


Lepas tu Sya cakap Wana puasa then kitorang ajak pergi pasar malam Putra Heights. Dah sampai rumah Sya, Wana baru keluar dari rumah Uswah, kitorang pun camwhore la dulu dalam rumah Sya. Biasa la, tak sah kalau sehari tak camwhore. Ye dok nok? Hehehe. Then dah camwhore tu, Wana dengan Uswah pun dah sampai dekat pasar malam tu. Kitorang pun bergerak la ke sana, Wana beli kebab dengan char kuey teow, Uswah beli air kelapa dengan char kuey teow, i beli air kelapa, Sya seperti biasa, tak beli apa apa. -.- Then dah sampai rumah Sya, dah azan tu, kitorang pun menjamu selera. Borak borak, gelak gelak. Tapi malangnya tak ada gambar dengan Uswah & Wana. Selain gambar i dengan Sya, yang hanya ada gambar Nia sahaja iaitu adik kepada Sya. Lepak lepak rumah Sya, dalam pukul 9pm, kitorang pun pulang ke rumah masing masing. Oh, i happy dengan result color rambut i. :)

*1st & 2nd - Camwhore di rumah Syafira Fitri Nabila while waiting for Uswah & Wana. 3rd - First traffic light yang hijau time kereta nak jalan. Serious, today macam hari traffic light merah je untuk ktorg. T_T 4th - Nia, yang cuba tunjuk cara marching dekat kitorang. 5th - Setelah selamat sampai rumah i, dalam bilik dah. :D*


Note to Sya : Thanks for teman-ing me, favourite jiran! I love you, baby! HAHA :)

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Im back, back for good i hope! :)






I SAJIKAN YOU ALL DENGAN GAMBAR GAMBAR POYO & BAJET DARI I, SILALAH JAMU SELERA! T_T

*I feel like writing in baby blue colour, it makes me feel so calm & cooling. WTF -.-* You know what? Im tired of this feeling already. This sad + lonely + etc feelings. Seriously, ill move on! & this is a promise to myself & everybody! Im happy now, with my life. Well, not exactly. But im healing, my heart is healing too. & im excited for getting into SEGi this monday. Im going to start a whole new life peopleeeeeeeeee. Pray for me! :) Oh & with Uswah being with me everyday nanti, memang best lah! Thank you baby, awak masuk USJ punya, kita memang sayang awakkkkk lah! Hehehe. Oh yeah, you know what? When i was on my way to Sungai Besi just now, i saw one kereta, comel sangat! It has no doors, the kerusi pak cik tu guna kerusi rumah yang rotan tu, dua dekat depan and dua dekat belakang. & as a precaution, instead of doors, dia guna yang rantai yang selalu guna untuk halang orang orang masuk satu satu area tu kan, rantai plastik tu, seriously, the car is sooooooooo cool, its like the kereta in flinstone, mesti pernah tengok kannnn? SUMPAH TAK TIPU! I was trying to capture the car with my camera, tapi tak sempat. Ye la, i was driving at that time & my mom pulak busy with her phone. -.- Oh i dont know where im heading with this one post, i just feel like writing & i just write whatever crosses my mind. :D Okay, i guess im done. OH & seriously people, im getting a great feeling here. Im getting better with my mom which before this she actually wont to talk to me because i decided to quit UITM & stuffs, my sisters are all happy with their life & my dad. Well hes just the same. But i know this will lead me somewhere. & ive promised myself that ill study hard & prove to my parents that i can do it too! Ill get great results & maybe insyaAllah, pursue my degree overseas, apply for scholarship - this is why i want good results! I nak berusahaaaaa. I nak berjaya jugak okay! TAK SABAR NAK START CLASS, i am sooooooooooo in the mood to study now. So i guess this is the end. Im done. Im done with the emo & all. Ill start a new life. ITS A GREAT FEELING! Tiba tiba rasa bahagiaaaaaaaaaaa sangat. Thank you everybody. Driving alone from Sungai Besi to USJ has made me realised. OH tak sabar nak pergi World Stage. Anybody else going? Lets meet up there. :D Mari bersyukur kepada keajaiban, THE OLD SOFIA IS BACK PEOPLE, SHES BACKKKKKKKKKKKKK! Arlina, im backkkkkkkkkk! Oh god, i feel good. :) So i guess, ttyl? Nak makan. Sorry, i had to merepek here. You dont have to read this if you dont want to. Love you everybody, xoxo.


P/S : Thanks Alie, for calling me a desperate girl. That made my day. But fyi, you dont know me that well to judge me. You maybe have read all my posts, but that doesnt mean youve known them all. & furthermore, im no longer the old me a.k.a im no longer Sofia who was once in a relationship with you. Get it over with already! & one more thing, i still think, YOU & SAUFI ARE JUST THE SAME! :)

Losing you now is everything but easy & simple.

S___,
i admire you from the first day i laid my eyes on you,
but that feeling wasnt for long,
it faded away after few weeks.

S___,
i think it was meant to be and i was once again into you,
we started off normal but i was excited when we worked together for opening for the first time,
you tried your best to make a conversation with me and to be friend with me.

S___,
i knew you have a girlfriend back then and i wasnt really care,
i knew my feelings towards you will eventually fade away in no time,
i knew i was glad ive made new friends from various background.

S___,
as days went by we were getting closer,
we spent every day and night together,
we hung out with each other whenever we have the time.

S___,
that was the time when i really fell in love with you,
you treated me different from others and you chose to be closed to me,
you decided for us all to have a vacation together.

S___,
at that time my feelings towards you were growing ecstatically,
you made promises which i took by mistakes on forming false hopes to myself,
you were always there for me and you were ready to help me in any trouble.

S___,
when you knew my feelings towards you by reading my blog i was asked to make it go away because you knew it was impossible,
i was confused because you were still treating me good and better in fact,
you told me we are better off being bestfriend.

S___,
i accept the term bestfriend but you were acting different,
you told me you missed me and you held my hands and kissed my cheek,
i was on top of the world at that time and i knew i was very happy.

S___,
you will never believe what have i felt when you said you were some kind of into me too,
but i know i shouldnt let that affect me,
we were having our own sweet times together and my friends envied us that time.

S___,
when you dissappeared for two weeks i was lost and i was crushed,
my heart was crushed too when you said you finally settled things with her,
but i knew i have to just let you go and be happy for you and i shouldve known better that me and you will never be possible.

S___,
i was trying to let you go but you came and again gave me false hopes,
i wasnt glad when you gave me the title NUMBER 2 or SCANDAL but i have to admit that i was happy when i knew ill never lose you,
as days went by you changed and the promises you made were left untouched and i was once again crushed by you because i knew this is going to be the end.

S___,
weve gone through a lot as friends or anything you want to call it and i thank Allah ive known you once in my life,
you were the reason why i was happy all the time,
you were the only one whom i wanted to spend my whole life with.

S___,
youve changed and i hate you,
but i know the more i try to hate you the more im going to miss you,
whatever it is i know i should be happy for where you are and who you with now eventhough i know we will never be friends like how i imagined and how youve promised me.

S___,
i hope youll never forget me as how you tell me to not forget you when you put a folder into my mp4 before i went to malacca,
i hope youll always remember that ill always be there for you whenever you need me no matter what time or day ill always be there for you like how i used to be for you,
i hope youll be a better man in the future and just remember ive loved you for who you were since i knew you from YC and ill always be loving you.

S___,
i will always remember every second of our time together,
i will always remember every word which were out from you and every actions you did,
i will always be missing and loving you.

XOXO :')

Note to you people : I wrote this when i waited for my mom at the airport this afternoon. The words came out easily but to tell you the truth, it was hard to find the perfect words to actually show the real feelings. Oh yeah, i know you could fill in the blanks yourself. :)

Monday, August 10, 2009

Sayang, it aint easy!

It aint easy to just give up on you after what weve been through,
It aint easy to just forget about you completely,
It aint easy to erase all of our memories which weve created together for months,
It aint easy to hate you for what youve done because ive loved you so much,
It aint easy to tell you how much id want to see, hug & kiss you right now,
It aint easy to make people understand how i truly feel right now especially because we werent really in a term which people call 'in a relationship' or 'dating' & i wasnt sure myself what were we at that time,
It aint easy to move on from you because im always haunted by you & our moments together,
It aint easy to say goodbye to you for it reminded me itll be the last goodbye of me & you,
It aint easy to not to think about you every day & night,
It aint easy to survive without you being by my side & without hearing your voice every night like i always do,
It aint easy to accept the fact that ill no longer be there for you when you need someone to talk to & that ive been replaced eventhough i was the one who replaced her first,
It aint easy to get myself used to the new environment & by not having you there for me, your words & advices,
It aint easy to lose my faith & hope on you just like that & ill always have faith in you even just a little,
It aint easy to remind myself everyday that it is impossible for us to be together even from the start,
It aint easy to know that ive actually lost you to her eventhough i know i shouldve predicted that,
It aint easy to know that i cant call you every second of every day like i used to & not be able to see you anymore with so much of freedom like we used to have,
It aint easy to not be able to talk about you everyday ,
It aint easy to clear my mind without even a single picture of you,
It aint easy to not be able to see you & say to your face that ive suffered enough to just let you be happy,
It aint easy to delete things that involved you in them & im suffering too much from the pain that i decided not to show to anyone & to always put a smile on my face eventhough only Allah & i know that its a fake smile,
It aint easy my friends, it aint easy like you think it is,
Until now i still have that feelings i used to have towards you & i dont know when will it fades away,
Until now i always have faith in you & i know if we are meant to be then we are meant to be & we will be together anyhow one day,
But for now, id just want to say, its your fault for giving me too much of hopes & love, its your loss of leaving me just like that.
Im so much more than just an 18 year old teenage girl & dont you think that youre much more older than me that youre much more wiser.
I hope she influences you on life perfectly because i dont want to see you fail in life & ill always pray for your happiness, S.

P/S : I love you & i miss you & i hope you read all the posts that have been specially dedicated to you since the end of June.

PP/S : Ive though about it & it is not going to solve any problems by abandoned this blog. This is the only place where i could express my thoughts, words & feelings. Im not forcing you to read nor feel sorry for me, i just want to write to make me feel better. :)

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Cupcakes moment.



I love you, imaginary boyfriend!
Help me to get through this pain, please?
I promise you ill love you forever! :)