Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Losing you now is everything but easy & simple.

i admire you from the first day i laid my eyes on you,
but that feeling wasnt for long,
it faded away after few weeks.

i think it was meant to be and i was once again into you,
we started off normal but i was excited when we worked together for opening for the first time,
you tried your best to make a conversation with me and to be friend with me.

i knew you have a girlfriend back then and i wasnt really care,
i knew my feelings towards you will eventually fade away in no time,
i knew i was glad ive made new friends from various background.

as days went by we were getting closer,
we spent every day and night together,
we hung out with each other whenever we have the time.

that was the time when i really fell in love with you,
you treated me different from others and you chose to be closed to me,
you decided for us all to have a vacation together.

at that time my feelings towards you were growing ecstatically,
you made promises which i took by mistakes on forming false hopes to myself,
you were always there for me and you were ready to help me in any trouble.

when you knew my feelings towards you by reading my blog i was asked to make it go away because you knew it was impossible,
i was confused because you were still treating me good and better in fact,
you told me we are better off being bestfriend.

i accept the term bestfriend but you were acting different,
you told me you missed me and you held my hands and kissed my cheek,
i was on top of the world at that time and i knew i was very happy.

you will never believe what have i felt when you said you were some kind of into me too,
but i know i shouldnt let that affect me,
we were having our own sweet times together and my friends envied us that time.

when you dissappeared for two weeks i was lost and i was crushed,
my heart was crushed too when you said you finally settled things with her,
but i knew i have to just let you go and be happy for you and i shouldve known better that me and you will never be possible.

i was trying to let you go but you came and again gave me false hopes,
i wasnt glad when you gave me the title NUMBER 2 or SCANDAL but i have to admit that i was happy when i knew ill never lose you,
as days went by you changed and the promises you made were left untouched and i was once again crushed by you because i knew this is going to be the end.

weve gone through a lot as friends or anything you want to call it and i thank Allah ive known you once in my life,
you were the reason why i was happy all the time,
you were the only one whom i wanted to spend my whole life with.

youve changed and i hate you,
but i know the more i try to hate you the more im going to miss you,
whatever it is i know i should be happy for where you are and who you with now eventhough i know we will never be friends like how i imagined and how youve promised me.

i hope youll never forget me as how you tell me to not forget you when you put a folder into my mp4 before i went to malacca,
i hope youll always remember that ill always be there for you whenever you need me no matter what time or day ill always be there for you like how i used to be for you,
i hope youll be a better man in the future and just remember ive loved you for who you were since i knew you from YC and ill always be loving you.

i will always remember every second of our time together,
i will always remember every word which were out from you and every actions you did,
i will always be missing and loving you.

XOXO :')

Note to you people : I wrote this when i waited for my mom at the airport this afternoon. The words came out easily but to tell you the truth, it was hard to find the perfect words to actually show the real feelings. Oh yeah, i know you could fill in the blanks yourself. :)