Monday, August 10, 2009

Sayang, it aint easy!

It aint easy to just give up on you after what weve been through,
It aint easy to just forget about you completely,
It aint easy to erase all of our memories which weve created together for months,
It aint easy to hate you for what youve done because ive loved you so much,
It aint easy to tell you how much id want to see, hug & kiss you right now,
It aint easy to make people understand how i truly feel right now especially because we werent really in a term which people call 'in a relationship' or 'dating' & i wasnt sure myself what were we at that time,
It aint easy to move on from you because im always haunted by you & our moments together,
It aint easy to say goodbye to you for it reminded me itll be the last goodbye of me & you,
It aint easy to not to think about you every day & night,
It aint easy to survive without you being by my side & without hearing your voice every night like i always do,
It aint easy to accept the fact that ill no longer be there for you when you need someone to talk to & that ive been replaced eventhough i was the one who replaced her first,
It aint easy to get myself used to the new environment & by not having you there for me, your words & advices,
It aint easy to lose my faith & hope on you just like that & ill always have faith in you even just a little,
It aint easy to remind myself everyday that it is impossible for us to be together even from the start,
It aint easy to know that ive actually lost you to her eventhough i know i shouldve predicted that,
It aint easy to know that i cant call you every second of every day like i used to & not be able to see you anymore with so much of freedom like we used to have,
It aint easy to not be able to talk about you everyday ,
It aint easy to clear my mind without even a single picture of you,
It aint easy to not be able to see you & say to your face that ive suffered enough to just let you be happy,
It aint easy to delete things that involved you in them & im suffering too much from the pain that i decided not to show to anyone & to always put a smile on my face eventhough only Allah & i know that its a fake smile,
It aint easy my friends, it aint easy like you think it is,
Until now i still have that feelings i used to have towards you & i dont know when will it fades away,
Until now i always have faith in you & i know if we are meant to be then we are meant to be & we will be together anyhow one day,
But for now, id just want to say, its your fault for giving me too much of hopes & love, its your loss of leaving me just like that.
Im so much more than just an 18 year old teenage girl & dont you think that youre much more older than me that youre much more wiser.
I hope she influences you on life perfectly because i dont want to see you fail in life & ill always pray for your happiness, S.

P/S : I love you & i miss you & i hope you read all the posts that have been specially dedicated to you since the end of June.

PP/S : Ive though about it & it is not going to solve any problems by abandoned this blog. This is the only place where i could express my thoughts, words & feelings. Im not forcing you to read nor feel sorry for me, i just want to write to make me feel better. :)

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