While im writing/typing this, my heart is hurting. Its like something is pushing it hard. Or maybe something is kinda ... I dont know. It feels like my heart is dropping out from my body. It hurts me. So much. My heart beats faster than usual nowadays. Is it because of .... Choi choi choi. -_-' Oh i actually know why my heart beats faster. Its because of im hurting inside, so much. Its also because of jealousy & afraid of losing. Have you ever felt like what im feeling now? :)
Well. Im writing this to actually express what i feel. I become so very sensitive nowadays you know. Everyday i have to argue/fight with my Alligator. Poor him. Well the reason im super emotional these past few days is because im afraid. Im paranoid. I know ill be losing you one day & that thought of mine is taking over me. Sometimes i just feel like getting myself away from you. But i cant. I couldnt. & i wouldnt. Youve become my source of happiness. Youve become my everything. I know i shouldnt make you my everything. But what to do, it just happened. Theres no chance of turning back because its too late. You know i want you so bad. So bad. & i cant bear seeing you with anybody else. I know thats not good. & im sorry. But you know how i feel right? & at this very second, i could actually cry thinking of you & your new friend. Because i know she may be my stand in. My surrogate. It hurts you know, thinking about how i would love to express my love to you which i know i couldnt. & it hurts me more thinking of you could mingle around whereas me, i just cant. I dont want to. Because im happy with where i am right now, who im with. However, im happy to actually know you. & i never expect to be this close with you. Thanks for everything. Thanks for the love & care. Thanks for the attention. I dont know how could i pay you back, but i know one day, youll find someone who could be your true love. :') & note to you, i never regret.
P/S : I wish im yours. Everyday i wish for that. I love you. End.