Monday, October 18, 2010

Bullsh*t!

Im feeling a lil bit light-headed. Im down. Im stressed out. Ive been crying. These past week, hasnt been a good one for me. Weve been fighting/arguing A LOT. We make up then we argue again. Its been like that for every single day. Im seriously so very tired of this shit. Youve hurt me so much, so many times. Youve been saying that you want to move on from me. You want to end this thing. Now it got me thinking that you really want it. You did say that you love me, but is this how you show someone that you love her? Youve changed. Youre no more the guy that I used to say 'Hey, Im sure he loves me. I trust him. Aww, hes so sweet. Oh, he would do that for me? Aww, he feels guilty, oh he really loves me.'. No more this guy now. Youve been that guy who couldnt care less on how would everything make me feel. I care about how you feel more than I care about mine. Like just now, why would you even lie to me? You said you were replying something but I could see from the reflection of your spectacles that youre actually ending 2 chats. Why would you even lie? Why did you even swear? Youve been lying to my face for too many times already. & Ive been that stupid blonde girl who actually forgive you everytime you do something wrong. Now Im positive that you really want to end things with me because you want to find somebody else. How could you even have the heart to do this kind of thing to me? What have I done to you? I know Im not perfect. & Im sure Im nobody near the girl whom you used to fall in love with. I used to be okay with whatever youre doing, whoever youre going out with. But seriously, tell me, how do I even trust you when youve cheated once on me? Thats unforgivable. Half of me asks me to move on & another half just ask me to break down & cry. I dont know which one to follow. I dont want to give up on you just yet because youre special. But if you really dont want me anymore, what more do I have to wait? Youre giving me those mixed signals. Half of me says you really love me & want me in your life but you have your reasons on doing that to me. & another half says that I really have to move on from you. Oh God, help me please. I dont want to be caught in such situation anymore. Sigh. & I promise myself, after you, I wont get anywhere near attachment. Not going anywhere near love. Im done. Im done with all this bullshit.

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